


Top Hat, White Tie, and Tails

by aces



Category: Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-25
Updated: 2012-01-25
Packaged: 2020-10-05 06:27:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20484368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aces/pseuds/aces
Summary: Belated pinch hit for a dw_femslash ficathon.I can’t resist drag with these two, okay?!  And one of the suggestionswasballroom dance…





	Top Hat, White Tie, and Tails

**Author's Note:**

> Belated pinch hit for a dw_femslash ficathon. 
> 
> I can’t resist drag with these two, okay?! And one of the suggestions _was_ ballroom dance…

“It’s a good thing there weren’t enough boys in my class and I sometimes had to lead,” Peri hissed as she swept Erimem across the dance floor, “or else we would be making complete asses of ourselves right now. Not that we aren’t making asses of ourselves, but it could have been _far_, far worse, and I hope the Doctor knows and appreciates that.”

“Ah,” Erimem said wisely. “This partner dance should be led by the male, then?” She smiled at her friend cheekily. “Then it is a very good thing you’re dressed like the male, isn’t it?”

Peri rolled her eyes and glanced down at her tuxedo. “Nobody should ever believe me as a boy,” she said.

“I don’t,” Erimem said seriously, and her hand tightened on Peri’s shoulder. Peri shivered.

“At least I look pretty damn good in the tux,” she sighed.

Erimem glanced around the dance floor to ensure no one was looking before she leant up to kiss Peri’s forehead. “You do,” she said, hastily stepping back into position, only touching Peri at the hand, the shoulder. It was suddenly too far away for Peri, but they were right in the middle of a waltz, and they had a disguise to maintain.

“How much longer do you think it will take the Doctor to track down the—thingy?” Peri grumbled.

“Why? Are you in a hurry to leave?”

“I’m in a hurry to stop dancing.”

“Oh, but I’m enjoying it!” Erimem sounded surprised. “Aren’t you?” She bit her lip. “I’m not dancing so very terribly, am I?”

“No!” Peri took a breath and closed her eyes, re-orienting herself to the beat of the music. She opened her eyes in time to smoothly swing Erimem out of the way before crashing into another couple, who ignored them magnificently. “You’re doing wonderfully, Erimem. I’m glad you’re enjoying the dancing, I really am. I’m just—it’s been a long time since I had to lead, okay?”

“Of course.” Erimem sounded sympathetic, and Peri refrained from groaning.

“They’re going to do a foxtrot next,” she said, “I just know it.”

“Is a foxtrot more difficult than a—what did you say this dance was called?”

“A waltz.”

“Is a foxtrot more difficult than a waltz?”

“It depends on how much I’ve had to drink,” Peri said with a sudden grin as she remembered the last night of her ballroom dance class a couple semesters ago. There had been a _lot_ of drinking that night. Erimem frowned momentarily, then got it, and she gave Peri another cheeky grin.

“You’re adorable, by the way,” Peri said, looking down at the way Erimem’s pale blue, frothy dress swung out around her during the dance. They’d pulled Erimem’s short dark hair up, curling it and dressing it up as best they could. Erimem had been willing to put on a wig if needed, but they hadn’t the time. The Doctor had barely given them time to get dressed before shoving them out of the TARDIS to find their way to the dance floor and serve as eyes and ears on the floor while he searched for his—thingy. He hadn’t been very clear on the details. He usually wasn’t. Peri found it pretty annoying, but Erimem was usually a little more accepting.

“Am I?” Erimem glanced down at herself and began blushing furiously.

Peri didn’t even bother looking around to ensure no one was paying them attention; she just leaned in and kissed Erimem on the mouth. “Yeah,” she said. “Even more when you do that.”

“Thank you,” Erimem said softly. She visibly composed herself. “I think you should wear a—a tuxedo?—more often,” she went on, and Peri laughed.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she said. “What are we supposed to be looking for again?”

“I think it’s a who, rather than a what,” Erimem said. “An individual or couple behaving suspiciously or out of the ordinary.”

“In this crowd?” Peri groaned. “We’ve barely even gotten out of this corner of the floor!”

“That is why the Doctor is patrolling the outskirts of the floor,” Erimem consoled her friend. “He wanted us in the midst of things, as it were, I believe he said.”

“He just didn’t want to be the one dancing,” Peri said.

“Quite possibly?” Erimem replied. “Have you ever seen him dance?”

Peri thought about that for a moment. “Nooo…?” she said. “Come to think of it, I don’t think I have. Aw, crap,” she added fervently, “it _is_ a foxtrot.”

“Oh dear,” Erimem said a minute later. “Now I really can’t keep track of anybody on this floor.”

“Exactly,” Peri said through gritted teeth, turning Erimem before they could ram into another careening couple, who looked terrified. “Who could even tell if anybody was acting strangely?”

“This is a very strange dance, Peri,” Erimem said. “I think on occasion the woman should be permitted to lead.”

Peri started giggling and knew she was losing it. “I’ll take it up with—whoever makes the rules about these dances,” she said. “Just as soon as the Doctor takes us back to when they were first performed—uh,” she added, swinging around again swiftly, “speaking of, I think I just saw the Doctor over there.” She turned them again so she could get another look. “And I think he’s waving something at—at that couple over there.”

“Where?” Peri obligingly turned them again so Erimem could see what Peri had seen. “Oh! Oh yes, I see him. Oh dear, Peri, he’s making his way through the couples—”

“Hell,” Peri swore, “we’d better join him.” She stopped dancing and began pulling Erimem through the crowds, neatly avoiding getting tripped over. Erimem was not always so fortunate, due to her dress, but she clung to Peri’s hand, and within a few moments they were standing with the Doctor and one of the dancing couples, not moving now.

“You!” the Doctor said. “I should have known you were behind this!”

"We meant no harm!” said the guy defensively.

“You never do, do you?” The Doctor turned to his companions. “Peri, Erimem, may I introduce you to Elam and Ellegren. They’re Pellegrens, and they like to suck the emotional energies from humans and other higher lifeforms.”

“Emotional vampires?” Peri glanced at them askance. “Seriously? I have an ex-boyfriend who was like that, can we go drop kick _him_ to the end of the universe?”

“I’m fairly sure your ex-boyfriend could not in fact destroy whole worlds with his powers, Peri,” the Doctor said with an unusual amount of patience.

“You haven’t met him,” Peri pointed out. She flicked her thumb at the two. “Are we in fact going to drop-kick these two to the end of the universe? Or what?”

“Hey now!” Elam said. He looked around wildly. “That’s totally uncalled for! What’s a little emotional energy amongst friends? I mean, look at this place! Full of people feeling excited, and nervous, and terrified, and anxious, and serene, and happy—and as for _you_ two,” he added, looking speculatively at Peri and Erimem.

“We are taking them back to their home planet,” the Doctor said, glaring at the Pellegrens sternly, and Elam stopped speaking. “And we are keeping them far, far away from the two of you, so they don’t—suck you both dry.”

“But what about you, Doctor?” Erimem frowned. “What about your emotional energies?”

“Hadn’t you noticed, Erimem?” Peri said sweetly. “The Doctor doesn’t have any.”

“Yes, yes, very funny, Peri,” the Doctor sighed. “Come along, you two.” He shepherded the two emotional vampires through the dancing crowds.

“You’re such a killjoy,” Ellegren said. “We weren’t actually going to _kill_ anybody, you know.”

“No, of course not,” said the Doctor. “Merely make them soulless shells of their former selves.”

“Whatever,” said Elam.

“Inside, please,” said the Doctor when they reached the TARDIS, secreted away discreetly in a quiet corner far from the dance floor. The two emotional vampires sulkily entered. The Doctor turned to his companions. “You two,” he shook his finger at them, “stay away from the console room until we deposit these two—thieves on their home planet, alright? I rather like you both the way you are, emotional peculiarities and all."

“Thanks,” said Peri, “I think.”

The Doctor paused and surveyed them both. “Did you enjoy yourselves?” he asked.

Peri blinked at Erimem. Erimem smiled up at the Doctor. “Very much,” she said and turned to Peri. “Perhaps we could dance some more while the Doctor drops off these—people?”

Peri looked at Erimem, in her frothy pale blue dress, and smiled slowly. “Yeah,” she said. “I think we can keep ourselves pretty occupied for the next few hours.”


End file.
